Saturday, July 23, 2016

Finding Peace - Saturday Evening Gyaan

I am writing after a really really long time. I wonder, why did I ever quit? I quit on something that gives me utmost happiness. It gives me the freedom of expression, it helps me vent my thoughts and clear up my mind. It ensures I am sane. I wonder why I quit. Was it time constraints, was it the routine, was it the mood swings? Probably, all of this and more. I was so pre-occupied with my worries and life routines, earning money and trying to live a good lifestyle that I left all that that can help me be happy.

Does this sound familiar? Does it not ring a bell with you? Does it make you feel, “Yes! I have also quit singing or cricket or running or dance or some passion that I had once upon a time". Do we try to give ourselves the beautiful excuse of “I got Busy with life?”; we all do. We love giving that excuse because it’s the easy way out. 

I don’t disagree to the fact that with responsibities, especially after child birth, it gets really difficult for people to make time. Everyone is trying to achieve “work – life” balance. It does happen in a relationship as well, that if one gets selfish, the other losses out. If one focuses on themselves, the other is forced to fill in.

 There was a time your mother chased you to go to that guitar class or karate class or music class which we felt had no meaning in our lives. Your parents knew, that with the rat race, you will be ‘them’ someday and you will quit. Yet they hoped that this childhood practice may bounce back someday. More often than not, it comes to our minds. We pity ourselves and move on.

Funny ain't it, that one fine day, we all start asking questions to ourselves that why are we so unhappy? Who ruined our lives? Why do we keep yelling and showing our frustration all the time? When was the last time I had a hearty laugh? How is that all my friends on facebook have an awesome life and I am still "stuck"? 

What made us this, was it marriage? Wife/Husband? Having children? Job? Greed for Money?  
Ironically strange yet true that it was we, ourselves, who ruined us. No one else was to be blamed. We stopped living. We were just passing time or living the “I don’t have an option but to live like this”.

I ask, what does living mean? What is that peace we are looking for? Why do we start looking out for that peace in other men/women? In random sex? In our children? In our friends? Because we don’t want to face the reality that there was this one thing you loved and you stopped it. There is this one passion in you, that spark, that burning desire, which still awaits your attention. That thing which takes your soul to another level, which makes you peaceful. Find that one thing which you are missing. Is it love for the ocean or love for writing poetry or love for gaming or caricature.. whatever it is, its waiting for you. 

It’s a famous saying that travel makes you grow as a person. That’s not true. The realities and difficulties associated with travel are what help you grow. They make you less fussy and a more adaptable as a person. There are a bunch of people who travel on vacations to the best of places with the best of amenities and yet feel the void. Does that mean luxury is not the true travel? Or is it bad to have luxury? Absolutely not!

The very basic attitude of appreciating small things and big things in life is what that doesn’t get you gripped. Why are some of the richest people, the unhappiest ones? Probably, they were never happy with what they had. Does that mean that you should be satisfied with what you have and never try to grow?

No! That’s not what I mean. Financial growth is not directly proportional to your attitude to happiness. You may own a BMW but when your friend offers you a ride in his Maruti, to a local chai shop, just to catch up with you, what should be your attitude? You could happily hop on, enjoy your conversation, crack jokes, feel alive about this meeting or you may choose to think, “He still owns only a Maruti, thank god I have progressed so well in life. Why am I at this shady place? I would have taken him to a better place and paid, if he couldn’t afford etc.”

Being competitive, boastful and smart are excellent for your work-place progress. But don’t make these qualities, your attitude and core. Your void would never be filled, your peace would be never found, your happiness would never be met. Stop demeaning others to feel better and successful. Someday your child would show you the mirror and that would be one ugly face :) and one ugly truth.